Wednesday, January 27, 2010

ZZ Top had it right.



Much like that video, Bayonetta has succeeded in making me uncomfortable.

It's not that Bayonetta is hopelessly out of proportion below the waist. It's not the British accent and librarian glasses. It certainly isn't the violence, which is fast paced but missing the visceral-ness of God of War or Devil May Cry. Bayonetta the game makes me uncomfotable because Bayonetta the character makes me uncomfortable. Everything she does is gratuitous, but not in a 'Wow, I cannot believe that I just saw that' way; it's much more of a 'Wow, I really wish I didn't see that.' way. I understand injecting a bit of sexiness into a game to keep people interested, but I don't need almost constant crotch shots and stripper walking between levels. Bayonetta goes from alluring to icky in about a level and a half, and there is a long way to go.

It's a good thing that the combat is better then Devil May Cry or God of War. This is not a marginal improvement, either, it's head and shoulders above either of them. After muddeling along for several hours something clicked in the middle of a fight and I went from spending far to much time on my back (which, I assume, she was okay with) to juggling multiple enemies while dodging attacks and spinning on my head. It was a revelation made possible by the game nor really punishing me for sucking before, just making fun of me. This places it above even Ninja Gaiden, in my opinion. Ninja Gaiden assumes you are godly from the beginning, and if you aren't, too bad, find something else to play. Bayonetta at least gave me the chance to try.

Still, Bayonetta is getting more difficult to look at with each passing hour. You know who got sexy video game girl right?

Jade.

And she didn't even have guns on her feet and her legs weren't twice as long as the rest of her.

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