Sunday, February 28, 2010

I'll take option C.

I can already tell which two characters are going to be the romance option for my (heterosexual) Shepard. There is the generically engineered super hottie who is so snooty that I have a hard time walking past her office without flipping the bird and the afore mention bald mega-bitch who, after her side mission, we find isn't quite as hard and mean as we thought; big surprise there. At least the costume the quest unlocked was a little less revealing. After talking to Jack (the second option) just a few times I can tell that this is where the story wants me to go. I plan on leading her on for quite a while and then dropping her like a bad habit right before sealing the deal just to see if she destroys the engineering section with her biotic tantrum. Neither of these characters are anywhere near as interesting as Tali, an alien whose face I have never seen through her gas filled helmet. She doesn't fit into any one stereotype, has dialogue that goes beyond, 'Fuck you Shepard. Wait, I didn't mean that. Never mind, yes I did,' and actually shows you loyalty for things that you have done for her in the past. Tali is one of two characters from the first Mass Effect (Garrus being the other) that are currently in my party, and there is rarely a reason to remove them. Take this exchange between the two of them while walking up stairs in the Citadel for the upteenth time:

Garrus: 'Remember all the discussions we used to have while riding in elevators, Tali?'

Tali: 'I'd rather not.'

Garrus: 'Come on, tell me about your suit and your world's ecosystem again.'

Tali: (deadpan) 'I have a shotgun.'

Garrus: '...'

I think I'm in love. But no, no romance option for her, just because a single rupture in her suit would kill her and she only has three digits on each hand. Come on, Bioware, be creative. Inter-species diddling wasn't taboo in the first game.

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