Friday, February 19, 2010

Unpleasent company.

It is actually quite rare that I begin a game and walk away before finishing the majority of it, exceptions being racing games and fighting games, because those either never end or take so long to get there it just isn't worth the time. Even I have standards, and low as they may be, games have managed to come in below them. For example:

Vampire Rain (XB360) - Early in the consoles life or not, this 'stealth against the undead' game wasn't worth more than a few hours.

X-Blades (XB360) - Think Bayonetta with an even more annoying female lead and combat so terrible it was impossible to tell when you hit (or were being hit) by anything.

Turning Point (XB360) - This one wasn't my fault, as I can push my way through just about any shooter, regardless of quality. My 360 red-ringed on the last level, probably out of spite, and I didn't hold on to the game long enough to get back to it. Check out my old review here.

Wheelman (XB360) - Something about this game annoyed the piss out of me. I think it was Vin Diesel.

Infinite Undiscovery (XB360) - The name should have tipped me off, but wow, this is one of the worst RPG's I have ever tried to play.

Two Worlds (XB360) - Strike that, this is the worst RPG I have ever played. It also had the gall to come out right around the same time as Oblivion, which made it look even worse by comparison.

The Last Remnant (XB360) - I played this one for quite a while just like I would play any RPG: clean out all the enemies in each dungeon to stay just on or slightly ahead of the leveling curve. It turns out that the game works the complete opposite way of every other RPG ever. Killing enemies below your ability raises your level, but has no affect on your powers, which will lead you to unwinnable fights with bosses who are the same level as you but do Texas damage. After one such pasting I turning it off and deleted my save, it was not worth it.

Cross Edge (PS3) - Didn't even make it into the game proper on this one, it was just too chibi for me.

Folklore (PS3) - This was not a terrible game, it was just so repetitive that I lost interest. The same thing happened with Odin Sphere: even games that are drop dead gorgeous need to change things up once in a while.

Demon Souls (PS3) - Fuck this game. Seriously.

There are more, mostly RPG's, because a bad RPG is much more difficult to endure than a bad action game, though I did play through both Summoner and Summoner 2 on the PS2, so my taste should not be trusted. Add to this unfortunate list Divinity II: Ego Draconis. I was willing to let the bad framrate, bad voice acting and really bad character models go, but the absent quest tracking and really bad combat pushed it a few steps past even what I can stomach. There were dozens of optional quests in the first area alone, but nothing on the map that indicated where to go to finish them, and the combat, oddly enough, hearkened back to X-Blades.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X, wait, why am I dead? Back in the mail you go.

My journey though hell begins this evening. At first I thought I should prepare myself by revisiting the source material, but then I remembered that the developers barely did, so why should I?


  1. Definitely give Demon's Souls another shot. When I first started playing I got really pissed off after beating the first boss. I played some other games and came back to it and now I love it. When you're in the mood give it one more shot.

  2. That's further than I got. Starting over after each death just drove me crazy.

  3. Its like an NES game though: you memorize where you made your mistake and go a little further each time. I know you're on a quest to play every game ever, but if you're in need of something to play and you have the patience, you will do yourself a great service by putting the time into this game.