Friday, March 19, 2010

Are you even trying?

Rogue Warrior came to an underwhelming conclusion. No boss fight against a giant Russian soldier who sported a burning effigy of Ronald Reagen in his curly mustache. No final encounter with a giant tank or helicopter or hover craft that becomes a symbol of 'merican might triumphing over Russian weakness. Just one last corridor of bad guys, some final cursing, and the credits. The last thing I expected Rogue Warrior to do was go politically correct on me, but the lack of any sort of racially charged (and quite possibly offensive) ending was disappointing. At least it was over quickly. I do wonder if I would have found anyone playing the multiplayer, but I was not curious enough to bother trying.

The Street Fighter itch was upon me, so I spent the last hour of my evening getting killed. My skills are apparently so tenuous that a single beer ruins them, but I suffered through the beatings because learning to be calm is just as important as learning how to combo into an ultra. After over a year of playing I received my first bit of hate mail, which is a sign that I am doing something right. It was a long, boring fight with Balrog, as Balrog vs Blanka matches usually are. It really is a bad match for Blanka, but I have played enough Balrog to know that once he has an ultra I can no longer jump at him, lest I suffer the easiest ultra setup in the game. (Note: deep, late cross ups actually beat Balrog's should charge. The more you know) I had a life lead in the last match, so I backed off and sat there. He sat there waiting for me to jump at him. And then we both sat there until there were only about 10 second left on the clock. He panicked, charged at me, I got one more hit and ran away for the win. It is not often that I maintain my composure this long, so I was rather pleased with myself. Then comes the message:

Seriously? That's the best you have? Not even any punctuation? I shouldn't have answered at all, but I did.

'Are you hitting one me?'

Other options were 'No, I do not have a cigarette nor a bundle of small sticks' and 'I know you are, but what am I?' but mine was good enough. Verbal fights over xbox live are just like the special Olympics.

No, I am not going to finish that joke.

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