Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Constipated mayhem

This is actually my second attempt at today’s entry. I fell asleep near the end the first time, closed the window in a panic, actually chose ‘do not save,’ and then wondered where all of my words went.

I have never enjoyed a GTA past the point of stealing the largest vehicle possible and dangerously tooling around the city using pedestrians and peace officers as target practice. This lasted for around an hour with GTA3, Vice City and San Andreas were completely skipped, and was completely unsuccessful with GTA4. After answering my cell phone and playing darts with my douche bag brother or cousin or whatever he was for an hour I have up. The plot and setting were just not interesting, the cars handled terribly, and there was not enough mayhem available from the outside to hold my short attention. Red Dead Redemption has been described as Grand Theft Horses, so I should not be interested. Western games, especially good western games, are so rare that it over rules by prejudice against GTA in favor of big hats, saloons and shoot outs. I enjoyed Gun, and that wasn’t even that good, so my hopes for the new Red Dead are high. And even if it is bad it will give me an excuse to watch Tombstone again and play in the Doc Holiday drinking game. (Drink alone until you are dead. You win!)

Between me and the wide open spaces stands Lost Planet 2, and even that was delayed by another fruitless evening of trying to learn Dee Jay. After losing with him consistently for an hour I jumped back to my main, only to find that failing for so long conditioned me to keep failing. No matter, if I am going to play poorly I may as well play poorly while oiled up or being racially insensitive. Everything is better when it offends someone who takes himself too seriously; that goes double for virtual fisticuffs with pink Native Americans.

No comments:

Post a Comment