Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Hold old is this?

After starting Nier I had to take a second look at how long it had been in my queue. The game sure looks like a launch title, had it been slipping through the cracks for over three years? It isn't that bad, but after wandering around in the world of Red Dead Redemption wishing I could buy a horse and some chaps and live there the barren plains of Nier as difficult to deal with. The world is not just empty, either, it is filled with ugly things. The protagonist, whom you get to name in a nod to the old school, has got to be one of the ugliest good guys ever to disgrace a game. Remember the cavemen from the insurance commercials that got their own sitcom?

Hi there. Buy insurance.

Shave him and you have the main character. He is seriously that hideous. He also doesn't seem to mind talking to a book that sounds an awful lot like Stewie from Family Guy, which may be a positive or a negative, I haven't made up my mind yet. By all that is reasonable I should drop Nier right back into the envelope from which it came and send it on its nihilistic way, but that probably isn't going to happen. There is just enough here to keep me interested, plus I want to know how the hero and his daughter jumped a thousand years forward in time and didn't notice.

Speaking of things that at are old, watch this:


It does not appear to take place in a 3D arena, which is good, but the combat itself looks much more like Ultimate MK3 instead of MK2, which is not good. It is also as brutal as fuck, which is definitely good (and the return of the Immortals MORTAL KOMBAT!!! song is also good). Mortal Kombat was never the deepest of fighting games, descending to pure button mashing by the latter 3D entries, but MK2 will always be remembered fondly as being the height of my arcade hustling prowess. I was damn good at MK2, knew every character, could play Shang Tsung effectively, and could juggle you for retarded damages with Kitana. I had people walk away from the machine after a round and a half, never bothering to get the full time from their fifty cents.

Of course, this is in comparison to the very, very limited arcade scene from my youth. For all I know, I sucked, and everyone else just sucked more.

Damn it. So much for that.

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