Friday, June 11, 2010

If Dr. Phil was a gamer

I suppose I should be more clear about what is wrong with Alpha Protocol. Aside from the obvious issues of bad voice acting, ugly or absent textures and buggy collision detection, this game has already been made. Think about it: Alpha Protocol is a third person shooter with stripped down RPG elements and branching dialogue paths. We just had one of those, and it was Mass Effect 2, and it was excellent. Alpha Protocol is like going to Ponderosa for dinner a few days after dining at Bern's Steak House. It just doesn't work, and no matter what your stomach hurts a few hours later. This is an Obsidian game, so I went in assuming that there would be technical difficulties and that the story would pull me past them. So far we have an amnesiac kidnapped who was pulled in to work for a covert government agency being sent of to the middle east to kill people who are shooting down jet liners with stolen missiles.

Somehow they have made terrorism trite and boring.

Maybe this will pick up, maybe it wont, but so far it has been the victim of inflated expectations. I really wanted a James Bond game, minus the Bond, and that is not what I got. The main character, whose name I have already forgotten, is closer to Nathan Drake than anything else, and Nathan Drake trying to woo women is more tragic than can be comfortably viewed.

That same sentence could also be applied to watching my Blanka lose to a Hakan last night. It was sloppy, oily, and embarrassing, and not something that I want to experience for a second time.

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