Tuesday, June 1, 2010

On the precipice

I may have dismissed Fairytale Fights as total crap a little too quickly. Yes, it still is a terrible game that was designed by a boardroom full of people who never play what they make, and yes all of the development was outsourced to the lowest bidder, but the latter levels veer dangerously close to entertaining. The combat and controls never even approach an acceptable level, topping out just below Little Big Planet (and we all know how much I liked that game) but the levels themselves go from bland to interesting very quickly. One of the final levels sees your character running around a giant's house, dodging falling books and giant rat traps, and jumping from jar to jar as the mother giant makes dinner. I hate to admit it, but it looked pretty cool. It wasn't much fun to play, mind you, but I was visually stimulated. Take Fairytale Fights, make it about one third as long, release it as an XBLA game, and, well, it still wouldn't be any good, but it would make more sense the the retail product that was actually put on the shelves.

It was time to practice more Dee Jay after that, and it went about as well as I expected. Dee Jay is a tremendous character in practice mode, with corner combos that will peel the paint off the walls. Getting any of those combos to work against a thinking opponent is an entirely different affair; everything degenerates to jab-jab-jab medium kick. I gave up losing with him just long enough to start losign with Blanka, then had someone start stalking my ranked matches and beating me with a different character each time. By the time he beat me in a Blanka mirror I was furious and almost out of control. I banged out some hate mail (I get it, you are better than me with every character you use. Happy? Now fuck off. By the way, good games), yanked my arcade stick out of the machine and bought Metal Slug XX to ease my pain. This is exactly how my last stick fell victim to an embarrassing scissor wielding tantrum, so it is time to stop for a while. I shouldn't get as angry as I do, and it's not even losing that makes me angry, it is playing so far below what I know I can do. Instead I will wander the old west, waiting for Alpha Protocol to arrive.

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