Saturday, June 5, 2010

Strange obligations

I don't know anyone (in person) who spends as much time with a controller in his as I do. Then again, I don't know that many people in person anymore. I am sure that many, many of the people I interact with virtually spend many more hours with videogames than I do, but most of them are ten plus years younger and don't have the same responsibilities. It's not just limited to how much time is dedicated to it, either. Most people I run into who admit to playing videogames have a Wii that they bought for their kids and use it once every month or two; none of them dedicate several hours a day to it. I am not saying this to brag as it is not something that I am very proud of. In truth, being the only person my age that plays games on a daily basis is pretty lonely. I have never played Super Street Fighter IV with a person in the same room, and if I did manage to con someone I knew into going a few rounds it would be a massacre. The closest thing to true communal gaming I ever had was Rock Band, and even then the skill gap was astounding. Again, this is not because I am any good at these games, it is just that I actually play them more than once a year.

Far be it from me to blame videogames on my general antisocial behavior. I would be a hermit with or without them, but they do certainly make it easier. It has actually gotten worse since I left the hideous world of gaming retail. When I ran those stores I was surrounded by people who liked the same things I did, had many shared experiences, and who I could get into real discussions with about which the best Final Fantasy is. Yes, the nerds were running, working in and shopping at my game store. Now, in the real world, no one would know what they hell I was talking about so it is best to not even try. So every day I retreat from everyone and everything, shed the days stress and disappear for a while into things that almost no one I know would care to hear about.

Up to this point nothing really seems amiss. Everyone has something they do to get over themselves. These things only become problems when they become difficult to give up. I cannot imagine what I would do without my nightly dose of electronic stimulation. A few years ago there was a power outage that lasted a few days. I was in an absolute panic; everything I do for fun requires a plug. Now when I find out that I am going to be gone for an evening the worry is not about falling behind on real life things, it is the lost night of work on whatever game I am playing. This can't be healthy, but then again, what else would I do?

I usually make these entries at work as to not take up night gaming time; even now these few minutes of lost work are weighing on my mind.

Enough complaining, there are corrupt Mexican officials to shoot.

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