Friday, June 25, 2010

Yes, I am lazy.

I could not find a McDonald's while on the road yesterday from which to post from (ate at a dirty Mexican restaurant instead, and my insides regret it) and by the time I got home it was time for the Thursday night ranbat. I will not be posting any videos of my matches because they were all terrible, but I will be putting up the winners, losers and grand finals as I have time.

And now, back to Nier.

I was looking really hard for a nice thing or two to say about the game and the best I could come up with is that the main character runs really fast. Wandering around with him feels more like offroading in an inexpensive ATV than anything person could actually do, complete with skidding to a stop when you change directions. This is before you tame giant boars and ride them. The boar has a drift button. Nothing I can say will make this any clearer: you can ride a giant hairy pig and drift it around corners while running over tiny monsters. Of course this is old news, the game is months old and not worthy of continued attention, but this little bit of bat shit insanity should have spawned a meme and never did. It would help if the game around it was actually any good, but still.

Playing Nier is not necessarily unpleasant, it is just unremarkable. Everything looks, feels and plays old and worn out and has been done better both before and after. I did run across a city built into two sides of a bottomless ravine with massive, swaying bridges linking things together. This would have been really impressive if the residents were actually out walking around, not hiding in their huts cowering from the extra programming skill it would have taken to make it look like a living town. Maybe they will emerge later, after I slay the giant monster with a dozen boobs on its chin (I am not joking, and it is not good), but I don't really care. Nier is just filling the hours before I go to sleep now, its bleakness fitting in just fine with playing a game for the sake of playing a game. Thank goodness Puzzle Quest 2 comes out next week, at least then I can waste hours of my time and have fun doing so.

We will cut off your johnson!

No comments:

Post a Comment