Sunday, July 25, 2010

Roving bands of thieving frenchmen

Ever modern Prince of Persia has passed under my thumbs, and not a one of the has been terrible. The recent reboot was easily the weakest, with beautiful and oddly out of place cel shaded style and lack of challenge, but it was still playable. Ubisoft seems to have decided to retcon the reboot and put out The Forgotten Sand, a game that has absolutely nothing to do with with the recent movie. Really, for serious. It plays exactly the same as the first three; all the old old reflexes serve, save one. Jumping up from one wall hang to the next is no longer actually the jump button, you hold up and hit the wall run trigger. I am hesitant to admit how many times I leaped off of a secure handhold to my death when all I meant was to scramble up vertically. I don't understand why this change was made, as it fixes something that was not broken, so I am going to complain loudly about it and then get over it. IT SUCKS. There, I am done.

There is something about all of the Prince of Persia games that has always bothered me: the conspicuous placement of spinning blade traps on walls. The only way they make sense is if the designer fully expected to be invaded by an army of parkour runners. What's even funnier are the wear marks on the walls leading up to the traps, proving that there are indeed people running around in clear violation of gravity all the time. Or perhaps the Cirque de Solei is in permanent residence and are grossly underpaid. The PoP world is full of people who can almost fly, but the prince himself is the only one you see do it.

Once I noticed this strange concession I couldn't stop noticing it. I pictured maids and butlers frantically running errands, vaulting themselves from balconies and tearing gigantic banners on the way down, because hey, why not. This is what I get for attempting to apply common sense to a game filled with sand monsters and obvious plot twists. The more I think about it, the less I enjoy it, which fits since this really is a retcon game of a movie of a game that was a remake of a very old game.

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