Thursday, August 19, 2010

Doors to bad places

Dead to Rights does it's best to be both a brawler and shooter at the same time. Bringing a gun (or over powered shotgun) to a fist fight often has sickly hilarious results, so you can guess which way my play through is skewing. Punching people is a last resort, especially when getting close to guy with rocket launchers almost always ends badly. Namco seems to have realized this, so one of the levels from last night forced me to escort a man, physically, out of building while fending off wave after wave of mercenaries. It helped that this poor gentleman was covered with body armor and had a bag of infinite ammunition handy, so he was never really in any danger. I wanted to pick him up and hurl him like a bowling ball, but the best I could do was use his head to open doors and push elevator buttons.

Which leads me to one of the best door one liners in a game I have ever heard:

"I don't suppose you can open the door in a more traditional manner?"

followed only by this gem from Wet:

"Fuck you, door!"

Oh yeah, and this one:



What a bastard.

Whose idea was this one, anyway? In a game where cool things can be under any given bush or rock this crotchety old coot is hiding in several places. He doesn't do normal things, like call the cops or chase you away with his cane. No, he punishes your deliquesce by emptying your wallet. What's really creepy is what he does to you if you don't have any money, something so scarring that no one actually remembers it.

It started with something like this:


and just got worse from there.

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