Thursday, October 7, 2010

Deep voiced narration

It has been a good year for open world games. It would have been a good year even if Red Dead Revolver was the only one, but Just Cause 2 came out along with Mafia 2 (which I assume is good even though I have yet to get my prohibition era violence on), so Crackdown 2 would have been behind if it had just been mediocre. It isn't even that, coming in at more of a Crackdown .5 than a 1.5. I don't really understand why Microsoft did this, but it is actually less than the first game. Crackdown had a large-ish city full of random collectibles, three feuding gangs, lots of stuff to throw around and just enough story to keep you interested. Crackdown 2 has one gang, refugees from Dead Rising, a large-ish city full of things to collect, and no story at all. It did bump the player cap up from two to four, but no one I know is still playing it, so I am alone in a big empty city fighting undead vampires and generic thugs. Not content with offering less, the game also actively mocks any single player. Giving bonuses to people for playing multi-player is fine, but showing these bonuses to the lonely people, taunting them, is just not necessary.

On top of all that the opening three hours are totally obnoxious. There are quite a few low point achievements stacked there, and every time you get the one you handler chimes in with 'that was quite an achievement!' or 'what a worthy achievement' or 'stop by the viagra stand for me on the way back to the citadel for an even better achievement.' The little popup is recognition enough, I don't need some deep voiced announcer validating how I spend my time.

Then again, maybe I do.

'Way to finish that giant burrito, it's an achievement!'

'You've made it to work on time every day this week, what an achievement!'

'That is the 100th nerdy thing you have done today, enjoy your achievement!' nerd score would be in 100k range. Suck it.

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