Monday, December 6, 2010

It's alive! Worst of the Year 2010

Mostly. Both URL's will work, and I do plan on freshening things up a bit, but that can wait.

I am not planning on doing a best of the year list, mostly because there are excellent games that came out this year that I have yet to play. Instead, keeping with the new 'less bitchy' theme I have adopted it will be a best games that I actually got around to playing this year. There will also of course be a fair amount of trashing, mostly because I still like to complain, so I am going to do the worst first.

It is quite difficult for me to look back over nearly twelve months of gaming and pick out the worst of the worst, primarily because I play so many terrible games. I am going to add the caveat that it has to be a game I finished, other wise I could name Divinity II and walk away feeling pretty good about my choice, or Last Rebellion which was in my PS3 for all of fifteen minutes before I had to turn it off. Had I played any more of Naughty Bear it might have taken the dishonor, but I really think there was something that went over my head with that game. It felt like there was a joke somewhere in there that I was just no getting, but I was too repulsed to bother trying to figure it out.


I am actually embarrassed to admit that I finished this game. It has precisely zero redeeming features. Fairytale Fights doesn't even get points for effort as it is clear that no one who had anything to do with the game was putting any effort into it whatsoever. As a glorified downloadable title pressed to disc and sold for an exorbitant price it offends me economically. As an action platformer is offends my hands by forcing me to bash the right analog stick in one direction over and over to attack. As someone who appreciates satire and occasional bits of low entertainment it offends my sense of humor by never once being amusing in any way. It was bloody without reason, attempting to ape Happy Tree Friends without all the wonderful awful torturous creativity involved. Difficult to look at, hear, play, or simply be in the presence of there was just no reason for Fairytale Fights to even exist.

And I played it. What does that say about me.

There were of course other disappointments this year. Alpha Protocol sounds awesome on paper (current day espionage RPG? Fuck yeah!) but just didn't work, mostly because I was rooting for the bad guys to kill the douche bag protagonist. 3D Dot Game Heroes proved once and for all that From Software and I disagree on the fundamental meaning of the word 'fun.' Lost Planet 2 missed most of the point of the first game, morphing into some kind of forced squad based shooter that wasn't much fun by yourself or with friends. Samurai Shodown SEN was the worst fighting game of the year, allowing the computer to bring a shotgun to a sword fight is never a good way to make friends.

I played 57 different retail releases this year, plus a ton of downloadable games that I do not want to catalog for fear of certain people realizing how much I spent on them. There are still 17 games from this year in my queue that will get played eventually. That's a lot of shit to troll through. Fairytale Fights, I salute you. You have topped the likes of Darkest of Days and Jurassic: The Hunted on my list of shame. But count yourself lucky, had Rise of the Six String or Rock of the Dead made in into my Xbox you may have gone from worst of the worst to just another bad game in a long series of games that have wasted my time.

...

Of course Rise of the Six String just shipped.

2 comments:

  1. This is one train wreck that I don't just need to see, I need to be a part of it.

    ReplyDelete