Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Shoot things! Shoot them again!

First things first: CoDBlOps is the single greatest gaming acronym ever, replacing KUFCoD (Kingdom Under Fire Circle of Doom. It sounds funny, perhaps a little dirty, and everyone knows exactly what you are talking about. It is also just enough under the radar that people who don't play games will have no idea what you are referring to.

'Put some good time in with CoDBlOps last night,' says the first gamer.
'Really? Get any new perks or did you just spend all your time manhandling people with your long, black, hard weapon? replies the second.

Yes, all violence does eventually boil down to homo-eroticism. That is simply the way of things. Embrace it or I will anonymously call you a fag, which just proves the point further. Not that I will ever actually touch the multiplayer, but I hear that a lot of people do.

...

The beginning of this post was done yesterday afternoon, before I finished the single player portion last night. Two evening, or around six to seven hours, was actually exactly what I was expecting. It is difficult to maintain a breakneck pace for much longer than that and CoDBlOps never lightens up. It is difficult for me to compare to the previous Call of Duty, as these shooter are a flavor of the day that I enjoy while they last and forget about shortly after, but it was definitely a good time. There were several moments where I died for discernible reason, others that an enemy ran past a dozen of my buddies to get to me because it was my job to kill him and trigger some really cool scripted moment. Moments like this were jarring because the rest of time it does a very good job of feeling like a partially interactive movie. Seeing some Russian soldier clip through cover on his way to me is not a good way to hold that illusion up.

Speaking of cover, why in the world is there no cover system in this? Sticking ones head out gets it shot of cleanly more often than not, but there is no good way to know if you are actually safely behind a wall or not. Cover systems works in first person, at least they have before, so I do not understand why the only way to know if you are safe from random gunfire is to check you ass and see how many bullets are in it. Perhaps they didn't want to slow things down, or they really were going for the Schwarzenegger 'Commando', never reload, huge dude that dodges incoming fire bit. It would also have provided a few tense quit moments to break up the continuous stream of the world is ending and everyone is shooting at you events.

Even so, it is difficult to complain about a game that knows exactly how long to be and keeps you amused the whole time. They even took away magically regenerating health for one of the final (and best) levels. It was a risk and it paid off. There was actually story here, too. The twist was foreshadowed rather bluntly at the half way point but figuring it out ahead of time didn't ruin anything. Working Kennedy in and a final allusion that the main character killed him was brilliant, and the final Left 4 Dead parody with Kennedy, Castro, Nixon and some other guy fighting off a zombie hoard was hilarious. For their first modern day Call of Duty Treyarch has done pretty well for themselves, proving that Infinity Ward did not hold a monopoly on AAA manly shooters.

Again, I hear that a lot of gamers play this against one another 'online' in 'death matches,' sometimes in a 'team' with other 'people,' but I couldn't find anything in any menus that looked like that.

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