Sunday, January 2, 2011

A twist I didn't see

Castlevania continued right on being unremarkable up to the bitter end. I had already fought Satan once this year, and last time I had to contend with his giant swinging wang as well as other weapons he was wielding. A tale of betrayal, blah blah, Gabriel comes through in the end. I kept waiting and waiting for Dracula to show up and he never did. Death was little more than a sub-boss. It was like a Metroid without missile upgrades or a Mario game without mushroom powerups: sure, it was probably better than I was giving it credit for, but it did no justice to the legacy of games it stole its name from. 

I felt this way right on through the credits. But wait, what's this? Why, it is a little more of Kojima's influence, a teaser cut scene after the game is done. Suddenly there was more imagery that actually looked like a Castlevania. There was that annoying bird guy boss (Slogra?) from IV, a guy in a hood who I was sure was the Prince of Darkness floating through a destroyed castle. Where was all this for the last ten hours? Clearly someone who made the game knew what things should have looked like and was only allowed to direct the final cinematic. Just as I was about to get pissed thing went and got all Anne Rice. The hooded man was actually the third Lord of Darkness, Gabriel was still alive and had become Dracula somehow, Satan was coming back and was naturally pissed, and everyone ended up in the middle of a modern day intersection after being hurled out of a stained glass window.

Holy shit.

This three minute denouement had me more pumped than actually playing the game for the last several days ever managed. It was so out of the blue that I couldn't believe it; the idea of a modern day Castlevania starring Gabriel as Dracula is so awesome I can hardly stand it. It couldn't possible be real.

So, unimpressed by the game as it never got past being a God of War clone in dusty, well used clothes. But if they actually make a sequel that makes good on what they have promised all will be forgiven.

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