Friday, March 25, 2011

3D is coming. Duck!

If I was to describe a cold, couch-less basement, replete with reasonable sized television, over sized speakers that are well over ten years old, two consoles, a blanket and a box of cat shit that really needs to be taken care of as inviting and homey, most sane people would either not believe me or assume that my standards are very low. While the latter is possibly true, it is the place where I spend the vast majority of my leisure time, so when I say that I was quite happy to leave the plush three room (free) suite provided me by the casino and return to my tattered blanket on the roughly carpeted floor I am being completely truthful. As a slave to my schedule such deviations are extra pleasant. I would have played just about anything last night, so a game that hovers just above average was like manna from heaven.

While the first three hours of Trinity were not at all terrible they were certainly a bit plain. Skills leveled up in barely discernible increments, new items were dropped that were just a tiny bit better than the last one I had, pretty standard stuff for an action RPG. Last night the third character showed up and suddenly things started to move faster. New bosses were introduced, including an interesting take on a hydra, that actually took a little more thought than 'bang the X button.' Money was abundant enough that I could buy some new skills, weapons improved, it was as if the game was gaining momentum. It will undoubtedly level off and quite possibly deteriorate; the fact that I had never heard of the game before adding it to the list is telling. The only reason it made it all is that is is a PS3 exclusive and that sad, black monolith to the folly of early adoption spends most of its time making me feel guilty. I might as well give it something to do.

Speaking of early adoption, I completely missed that the 3DS was coming out in two days. If memory serves that means the hardware is already sitting in poorly secured back rooms, waiting to be unleashed upon a new groups of spoiled children and the spoiled adults who act like them (yes, this was yet another not so subtle jab at Nintendo). I have no doubt that it will sell and sell and sell, and at $250 even if it wasn't yet another Nintendo product that was going to play the next batch of the same Nintendo games I would not be interested. 3D in a handheld holds the same interest for me as 3D televisions and 3D movies: none what so ever. It is a feature I would turn off in favor or longer battery life of soother frame rate, abilities that Nintendo has hidden away for the version they release next year.

If you for one second think that they don't have the next three versions of this thing finished already you are fooling yourself. Nintendo knows exactly what they are doing. As a company I love them, I just don't want anything they make.

I looked over the 3DS launch(ish) lineup and was not impressed and completely unsurprised. 3D remakes of Zelda and Pilotwings, my goodness, the resources they must have spent on those. Console translations of Street Fighter and Dead or Alive. Yawn. The only game that looked worth the effort was the new Kid Icarus, and even that was just a new Star Fox set in Greece (and oddly enough more of a Star Fox game than anything called Star Fox is years). Not working in the industry anymore has deadened my excitement for brand new things, but even considering that this is not a very good showing. Regardless of what I think it will sell out and the other big two will take some of its ideas and try to make them their own. Sometimes this works (Kinect!) and sometimes it doesn't (Move?), it matter not to me. Call me when they release a high-res Metroid-vania.

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