Monday, April 4, 2011

Inaccurate, as always

So my picks were terrible, but they were based on one previous pay-per-view and foolish hopes, but what are you going to do. DirecTV actually cut out entirely for the majority of the Undertaker - Triple H match. This was the one match that I wanted to see, so nothing else could make up for it. Also, there weren't near enough stunner administered, by my count a paltry three, but you can't blame Austin for taking free money/beer. I just find it amazing that the current writers don't even know what to do with him. It's not complicated: he shows up, the crowd goes crazy, everyone who doesn't move fast gets a stunner. Oh, there is always next year.

WWE AllStars thankfully did not disappoint. It is nothing more than an arcade game from years and years ago that has been turned sideways, shined up real nice, and shoved up the candy ass of games that require skill and practice to play proficiently. I wont even go as far as saying that it is the successor to the N64 classic Wrestlemania 2000, because it has very few modes and absolutely no legs, but for a few hours with about six other guys at varying levels of skill and sobriety, it was a blast. I got a bigger pop by KO'ing two people at once with a patented top rope Hulk Hogan leg drop than anything the pay-per-view had to offer. Big Show and Andre could juggle people with moves right out of Mortal Kombat. Rowdy Roddy Piper was actually good (so it didn't reflect very well on real life).

What was most impressive was how much we improved by the time we were done. Dudes who started out literally mashing the buttons as hard as they could were countering grapples and vaulting from turn buckles with ease only a few hours later. There is no high level play here, but what it has is easily accessible and very entertaining. If there were still arcades this would be an arcade game, but since there really aren't anymore I suppose I need to come up with a different name for it: the peoples' brawler.

  

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