Saturday, April 2, 2011

It's that time already?

Chamberlain's Wrestlemania predictions, based on nothing more than having watched the Royal Rumble and knowing who about half these people are.

Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes - Tired of mini-Cena, but he did 'break' Cody's face. Being the first match of the night I am going to have to give it to the face to get the crowed involved. Prediction - Rey Mysterio

Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan - Didn't know who Bryan was until the Rumble, and he turned out to be pretty good. Shaemus seems to be loosing the push I though he was given last year and could need a boost, plus titles rarely change hands as Wrestlemania, so Prediction - Shaemus

Eight Man Tag -  I am not going to list everyone in the match, mostly because I don't know who most of the core guys are, but the inclusion of Santino guarantees that at least some spot of this match will be hilarious. Here's hoping that Big Show and Kane pick up Santino and hurl him at core. Prediction - no matter who wins, Santino wins (Core is going to lose)

Randy Orton vs CM Punk - There are going to be two big turns this year, and this match is going to have one of them. Orton hasn't really been a heel is a while. He hasn't been a good guy yet either and this match is going to push him over the edge. Punk is going to cheat over and over and Orton is still going to win. Prediction - Orton sneaks out a win and makes a transition to full on face.

John Morrison vs Dolph Ziggler plus a bunch of women no one wants to see wrestle - Morrison is awesome and think that he and Ziggler could put on a hell of a match. Here's hoping they get to. I don't know why Snooky is involved in this, and frankly I don't care, I just hope she gets here face smashed in. Prediction - beers will be refreshed every time the women wrestle, Snooky will be terrible, then Morrison will win because he is fresh off an injury.

Jerry Lawler vs Micheal Cole with special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin - Gimmick match, but who cares. Prediction - everyone gets a stunner. Everyone.

Edge vs Alberto del Rio - I don't know who Alberto del Rio is, so I was not happy when he won the rumble. He does have his own announcer, but Mr. Kennedy was his own announcers, and that was much cooler. On the other hand, I like Edge, and I think crazy Edge will make an appearance this evening. Prediction - Edge

The Undertaker vs Triple H - What's this, is it that time already? Time for Vince to dust off the Undertaker for his once a year defense of 'the streak'? I would be lying if I said that his match against HBK last year wasn't awesome, but the man is old. Triple H is not a young guy either, and he has a company to run (as compensation for having to see Stephanie naked. Ew.). Making the match no holds barred give them a great way out. Prediction - No one wins. Double count out after pretty good match. Undertaker disappears for another year and Triple H is running the show in six months.

The Miz vs John Cena - Remember when I said there were going to be two big turns this year? Here is the other one. Cena gets mixed reactions depending on the city they are in and what part of the crowd is shown on TV. WWE needs more heels, plus The Rock just came back. Finally, Miz is awesome, but he is in way over his head at this point. Prediction - Cena beats Miz, Rock comes out, Cena beats up The Rock, and we finally get Evil Cena. And there was much rejoicing.

And there it is: completely uninformed predictions from a guy who watches wrestling twice a year and will not be sober when Wrestlemania finally begins.

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