Tuesday, April 19, 2011

What's old is old and what's new is old

Mortal Kombat is sitting in my car, waiting. Early reports have been that the online play is not exactly very good, but this is one of the few fighting games aside from Virtua Fighter that I can see standing up well to single player scrutiny. Regardless, there will be plenty of to bitch about, at and around the game. Right now I want to talk about Lego Star Wars III.

The Lego games have always bypassed the need for story or narrative on the strength of their licenses and the fact that everyone already knew everything that was going to happen. It didn't matter that none of the characters actually spoke, you knew who they were and what they would be saying anyway. The humor comes from the little deviations and out right non-sequitors thrown in that they can only get away with because everyone and everything are made up of plastic blocks. This time around they are using stuff from what I assume is the extended universe because I have no idea what is going on or who the fuck half of these people are. I did the the original animated Clone Wars shorts (which were awesome) so I at least know who this weird dual wielding goth jedi chick is, and I know who the four armed robot guy is, but almost everyone else is just a pile of blocks with a light saber. I am not looking for story here, but it is difficult to know what is being lampooned and what actually sprang from the senility ravaged corners of Lucas' mind. For example, a few levels ago I fought a giant worm thing that had captured a jedi. It was an excellent looking level and the boss fight/ending chase was a lot of fun, but I have to wonder if this is something Travelers Tales came up with or Star Wars really did have jedis fighting giant maggots.

I used to like Star Wars, I really did. Then the remakes arrived and I cursed them for their subtle and not so subtle changes. There was a rhythm to the movies that had been broken; watching them felt like driving a really fast car with one flat tire and bad shocks. You still got where you were going, but it wasn't very comfortable. The prequels sealed the deal. I saw each of them once in the theater and then never again. Only Episode 1 received an attempted second viewing (on VHS!) and I could not make it through. The new content has even go so far as to tarnish the rose colored glasses that I look at the originals with. I have come to realize that the special effects were crappy, that Mark Hamill couldn't act, and that no one had any idea where the story was going after they made enough money from the first money to make two more.

But Leia in a metal bikini? Jabba was a pimp, that much is still true.

  

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