Friday, May 20, 2011

In which we wish to witch

I should be playing The Witcher 2 right now. Well, not right right now, but instead slogging my way through another Dragon Age. The reason are am not are multiple and all half assed. I tried to play through the first one on three separate occasions, the third time stopping because a side quest would not fire off and I took it as a condemnation of PC gaming as a whole. I want to love gaming on my computer, but it does not love me, and the amount of money it would take to be able to run Witcher 2 in a manner even close to it was intended to just slightly beyond what my wallet can handle (lies, the system requirements might as well me written in another language and what used to be a sexy beast of a machine is now a post-middle aged loaner in need to a hair piece and personal trainer).

There have been times in my life when the game of getting the game to work was an enjoyable part of the experience, but level of patience was lost long ago. Current day consoles, in spite of day one patches and red rings and leet haxors stealing my passwords, have made me lazy. The game arrives and it works. Unless we are talking about Mortal Kombat where playing online doesn't really work, but that is more poor design, less 'whoops, we didn't know about that.'  I know full well that I am missing something, especially when games like Witcher get skipped, I just wish that Sony or Microsoft would start handing out the money hats and get the thing on console.

I am not going to take a step back from ripping of Dragon Age 2 for its identity crisis plagued combat, but I will say that just about everything else to very, very good. It looks better, loads faster, sounds nicer, has more side quests and is it general more interesting that the first one. The main plot line is a bit hard to keep track of, though I am assuming that there is one. There may not be; it may be just a string of semi-related adventures, but that would be enough to distract me from how clumsy things get when I have to kill someone. I do find it odd that all of the male protagonists are gay and that the one female that I would consider pursuing has no interest in me yet, but I am going to chalk that up to the wicked beard that my character has. Men want it, women fear it, and it is really itchy under my helmet.

It is amusing? Of course it is, Bioware very rarely releases terrible anything, but the combat that I want probably doesn't exist anywhere anymore. No one wants to plan out their combat in a turn by turn manner, micro-managing their delayed blast fireballs and watching that one damn goblin sneak through a carefully designed gauntlet of tanks and thieves with a series of impossible dice roles to kill your precious mage (and then have the game crash and lose an hour of work).

Who else misses Troika? Anyone? No one? Damnit, to GoG for yet another game I will never have time to play.

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