Tuesday, May 10, 2011


The last thing I expected tonight was to manage to finish the main story of Two Worlds 2. Chapter 1 was about three times as long as everything else combined, holding the majority of the side quests and the largest area to explore. Planning it this way makes little sense, so I can only hope that the developers ran out of money and just had to finish the game up with existing assets. As is usual for big, open ended western RPG's it really had no idea what to do for a final confrontation. There had been a boss encounter or two previously, but they were little more than powered up normal baddies that took two shots from my arrow shotgun instead of one. After a plot twist that I didn't see coming (though I was pretty sure that the 'prophet' who was helping me was evil; only dark magic could maintain such obnoxious cleavage) a dragon showed up. It was the largest thing that had shown up, so I was excited to fight it.

No luck. Not only was the game not entirely sure how to end, when it had a reasonably good monster to end it with it didn't know how it should be fought. I never actually fought the dragon with my bad ass archer who was one shotting most of the monsters for the last thirty hours. No, I had to run around the top of a tower, dodging dragon breath and lobbing ballista fire. It was lame, but should not have been a surprise. Somewhere along the way I had forgotten that Two Worlds 2 is not a worthy substitute for Skyrim. It is a B (or C) game and could not help but be underwhelming in the end. There were side quests left to do, but after ending with a whimper I have no reason to go back for them.

All that being said, they snuck one excellent bit of humor right in the middle of a swamp torn right off of Tatooine. It started off as a cave based on the end of the last Indiana Jones movie (the third...). The first two tests were the same: duck to avoid invisible blades and follow a path so you don't crash through the floor. The final test was a battle with a black knight.

'None shall pass'
'...I hope this doesn't end in a lawsuit.'

Jumped from Indiana Jones to The Holy Grail without missing a beat. If nothing else, Reality Pump knew their audience.

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