Thursday, June 9, 2011

They teach this in high school english

Crysis 2 spent about three hours trying to top itself last night. Each encounter screaming as loud as it could 'you think what you just did before was awesome? Check out this shit!' Apparently the developers disagreed with the concept of rising and falling actions, opting to keep pushing things up until the games ends and you fall off a cliff of disappointment. It has called back plot elements from the first game more and more often as it hurtles towards the inevitable third act collapse, another decision that I really do not understand. First of all, most console players will not have played the first game or its stand alone expansion, and even if they did, it was long ago and thin enough that I don't remember any of it.

For example, this Hargreaves guy was apparently pretty important, but I have no idea who is is, so when I found out that he was actually being kept alive in cryogenic chamber filled with blue goo it made little difference. It was not a surprise or a twist because I had no preconceived expectation. He could have been a velociraptor  for all I knew. Actually, that might have made the game more interesting. A new Turok game I can get behind, at least it would have a built in excuse for its mediocrity. Seriously, it's Turok, what more can you expect?

I sincerely hope that Crysis 2 ponies up a better boss fight for its finale than the the previous and identical one. The three legged pinger, no to be confused with the tall things from Half Life 2 that they look suspiciously like, will kill you if they see you in front of them and are only vulnerable in the GIANT RED ENGINE on their rears. The only strategy that works is to turn invisible, run behind them, fire something of high caliber and explosive nature at their baboon-esque asses, then run away. They trot this guy out three times, and the only difference is how many other bad guys there are or how little ammunition they give you. It was moderately interesting the first time. After that it was just like rest, shiny, but repugnantly familiar.

The game should end tonight which will give me an evening or two to spend with AE before diving into the latest Red Faction, a game which I do know if any else has actually played. I do look forward to investing more in AE in spite of the blatant balance issues. In the the two hours I have played there were two people who quit after the character selection screen. This is by new barometer of success: if I choose a character that you are so loathe to fight that you drop out before the match even begins, I win. Every piece of hate mail after a win counts as another win. And every scrubby Jun that think they can win just because they heard the character is over powered counts as three.

If I can't actually win at the game, I will just invent my own rules.    

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