Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Just not quite bad enough

It was with great trepidation that I started up No More Heroes: the PS3 port of a Wii game that at the very least doesn't require me to wave around a piece of plastic with a glowing ball on the end. All the flailing has been replaced by analog stick gesticulations, which I am not sure is actually better. The tutorial did little to make me feel better: all the combat boiled down to was mash mash mash, jam the right stick up or down (or left or right). 'It's gets an evening,' I told myself. Then the first boss kicked my ass because I failed to see that just a little bit of thought was required. Eventually I beat him and things were looking up.

When the world opened up and I was allowed to roam a bit on Mr. Touchdown's ridiculous bike things got bad again. The entire experience was at best clunky and at worst broken. Boring mini games followed by boring assassination missions that lacked any of the charm or wit of the first boss strung together by the worst controlling vehicle this side of the first Just Cause. Just as I was about to shut it off for the second time it was time to fight another boss. This guy looks a lot like Revolver Ocelot, complete with fully automatic hand guns that never run out of bullets. It was another good fight, and this time it left me with just enough money to unlock the next ranked fight.

Until I bought a new weapon and trained my stats up a bit. Back to the grind.

I realize that I am years behind the curve to complain about No More Heroes, but my complete aversion to motion controls means that I though I would never actually play it. Now that I am I must say that I didn't miss much. The game is a series of excellent boss encounters so padded out by total bull shit that you end up nearly quitting between each one. For some reason I find it much easier to walk away from PS3 games than XB360 (there is no good reason, don't ask) and I am tempted to throw in the towel here. I have stopped playing much better games, why should this be any different. The problem is that the light at the end of the tunnel is just a bit too close for me to ignore. If I can just get through this tedium something awesome will happen.

Sounds a bit like life, actually. No More Heroes: an allegory of modern, daily life.

...

Worked from home today and actually worked from home. This little bit of slacking is all I could manage. I had allusions of a Street Fighting lunch and a nice lazy afternoon. Nope, didn't even stop to eat lunch at all and am still working. Damn the remote workplace.

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