Monday, October 24, 2011

Anti-badassness

Once again I have returned form the wilds of Kentucky, this time having got at least a little bit of gaming done. Catherine is one of the only game that I have ever played that actually got easier when moderately intoxicated. There were still three or four levels after the final (bizarre) twist, levels that would have been much more frustrating without that pleasant warm feeling brought on by one too many stouts. Once it was done and all my suspicions proved correct I was relieved, but also still very confused. Katherine was a succubus, Catherine never was pregnant and took Vincent back. According to the achievements the exact opposite ending is possible: Vincent ends up with Katherine and Catherine leaves him. How this drastically different ending can be brought out by a series of yes or no questions is a mystery, as the puzzle levels were good enough to do once but not good enough to do again, so I will have to rely on the internets to see the other endings.

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Space Marine is a perfect weekend game: you can knock it out in two days, it is fun from beginning to end and you never, ever stop feeling like a bad ass. I know very little of Warhammer 40,000, though every time there is a thread dedicated to its art I will admire every page. Every unit, every soldier, ever weapon from the puniest pea shooter to the gigantic titan that you use to shoot down a space elevator look amazing and are intimidating as shit. Ultramarines are all impossible tall, dwarfing the standard soldiers who do their very best to keep up. The orks lake the same technology by apparently breed like rabbits, as they never show up less than fifty at a time. And just when you get tired of shooting green skins in the head this guy shows up:


That's Nemeroth. I don't if he is canon or not, but just look at the guy. The skulls on his back were his breakfast. His goal is to curry favor with the old dark, god and look even meaner. He succeeds, and I could not wait to fight him.

Final level, I killed all his minions, and my ultramarine knocks him off the space elevator. Ok, mid-air combat, I can deal with that. Nope, quick time event.

Whoops.

Nothing kills feeling like a bad ass like having to press X to not die. This is an incredible blunder in an otherwise excellent game. I wanted to fight Nemeroth in a city leveling, obnoxiously destructive battle, not mash B until the credits rolled. Did anyone actually play the end that played the rest of the game?

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I bought Super Street Fighter IV on the way home again. This has moved past idiocy to beaten wife syndrome. It only hurts me because it loves me, right?

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