Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Now I'm all pissy and poor

Oh my, what was that feeling? The feeling of getting significantly poorer for a non-game related reason? As amusing as eating a salad made up of $4500 in ground up bills sounds, trust me, it blows. At the very least I will be unconscious for the two procedures, but then I think about how much beer I could buy for that price, and how much more fun using that to render myself unconscious would be, and letting every rotten bit of tooth fall out of my face seems like viable option. Who needs teeth when you can drink your meals?

It's such a racket, too. A crown costs $1000. I could buy a pretty good TV for that. What am going to get for that $1000 instead? A bit of molded porcelain that no one will ever see and relief from constant, agonizing pain. And the worst part of it is that after all this money is spent and all of this nonsense is fixed there is precisely zero chance that I wont be in the same god damn chair in six more months with at least a cavity or two to repair. This financial embarrassment is the culmination of years of neglect, but had I actually been a good boy and been drilled every six months the net total would be about the same. Dentists are right up the with chiropractors.

It's bull shit, I tell you. Dentures would be preferable to this. I would be able to better floss between by teeth if I could remove them from my head to get a better angle at them. As it is now (and if I actually did it) it requires Cirque Du Soleil caliber contortions to take care of these things. Why can't we be like sharks and just let the things fall out, only to grow brand new ones behind them?

$4500. God damn. And I was thinking about buying a Vita.

And some new speakers.

And then rolling around in the rest, wallowing in my own crapulence.

Instead I get a monthly 'fuck you' bill to go along with all the rest.

Now I'm much too upset to talk about how shallow of an experience Rage is. See what going to/not going to the dentist gets you? Teeth suck.

 

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