Saturday, May 5, 2012

Take my head, please

I knew that Neverdead was bad, being an avid consumer of Zero Punctuation's brand of snark, but even Yahtzee's venom could not prepare me for what I played last night. They had one good idea: the main character is immortal but not invincible, meaning that he can be torn limb from limb and put himself back together to finish the fight. This is a good idea. I like this idea, especially when taken as an avenue for humor instead of badassary as Neverdead has tried to do. It all goes horribly wrong, though, when the game decides that since the main character an separate have both his arms and all his legs removed from his torso it should happen as often as possible. Nearly every hit breaks the hero down into a pile of quivering limbs, and just to keep things 'interesting' there a little monsters whose entire job is to eat your head as it rolls around looking for the rest of its body. They don't kill you, but you are trapped in the stomachs forever.

An immortal protagonist should never have to deal with a game over screen, and they screwed it up. Oh, and there are escort missions, and if you charge is killed them game ends. Sounds a little like Knights Contract, doesn't it? I actually think this is worse, because in Knights Contract the person you had to guard could actually take care of herself. In Neverdead she is both worthless and annoying, so even though I really want to let her get eaten my each and every demon that shows up I can't. Apparently the death of annoying female eye candy is just to much for our hero, forcing him to give up his immortality out of guilt.

...

I just looked up the game on GameFaqs to see how much more of this I am going to have to deal with. No only can I not find a good answer but there are no FAQs written and nothing it the question/answer section. I don't think I have ever seen that before.

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