Thursday, August 16, 2012

Can I go now?

Blades of Time disappoints in all the right ways.

Yes, I am aware that the preceding statement make very little sense. It is a bad game, and not bad funny, just bad bad. I have noted in the past that motion blur is the new lens flare and Blades of Time uses about three games worth of an effect that be applied sparingly at best. Things don't even need to be moving quickly to blur. It's as if the whole world is made of watercolor paints that haven't dried yet and the slightest movement causes everything to run into whatever is next to it. This makes navigating an overly busy world even more difficult and would make combat impossible if it consisted of any beyond mashing X and dodging.

There is a time rewind mechanic that someone put in and then didn't bother to tell anyone else how to use or what to do with. If anyone else besides me played The Misadventures of PB Winterbottom you will recognize the idea of leaving copies or yourself behind. The game tries to be creative tossing enemies out that you need to be attacking from multiple angles an once. This can only be accomplished attacking, rewinding, then attacking again so you can attack while you attack.

But it never really works. Things don't always play back the same way they recorded, so your other self can miss the enemy entirely and you have to start over. There are also enemies that you can't kill and the only way past them is to run in the opposite direction of where you are trying to go, rewind, then run the other way and hope the monster chases the other one.

Then there is the main character's 'design.'

What is that? She looks like Lara Croft if she had a guest spot subbing for Ivy in the new Soul Calibur, minus any class and a reasonable voice actor. The game is a disaster from top to bottom. It is the spiritual successor to X-Blades, a game so bad that I played it for ten minutes and shut off, so I would expect no different. The even screwed up the way health works.

Health regenerate out of combat - meh
You can stock up to three full health meters by maxing out the magic meter - good!
Using one of the stocked health meters requires pushing right on the d-pad. If you don't manually trigger this running out of health will kill you. And there are enemies that do more than 50% damage in one hit.

That's bad.
They may also contain sodium benzoate.

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