Monday, November 19, 2012

Protection fees... Yeah...

Assassins Creed 3, a game that focuses on everything but what I actually want to do, has managed to do something that I did not think was possible. It took piloting a tall ship through treacherous weather and impossibly tight canals while avoiding enemy cannon fire fun. I actually look forward to each memory ending and new naval missions opening up. There are 100% out of place and make no sense at all (really, the native american kid shows up and you let him pilot on the first day and then make him captain shortly thereafter, sure) but they easily the highlight of the show so far. Can you imagine is Risen 2, instead of being terrible from top to bottom and front to back, had something like this? I might have played it for more than two hours.

Enough praise, time to go back to things that Assassins Creed 3 gets wrong. Ezio may be little more than Renaissance Batman but I really enjoyed the mafioso way he went about making money. He would find old,
abandoned store fronts, fix them up, get them back in business, then demand a protection fee. Hell, he even pulled this off with national monuments. In the end, everyone was working for Ezio, whether they knew it or not. How does Conner make money? He sends out caravans to sell wolf pelts. Correction, he builds the caravans and sends them off in the vain hope that they make it back without being raided by the English. Not the most glamorous way of funding the Assassins return. Not the most effectual either. After fighting through the menus once and sending off thee caravans full of animal corpses I got a message stating that I was in the top 50% of players for money made via caravan. This means that at least half of the people had the same reaction to the tutorial as I did ('fuck that'), only they were smart
enough not to go back for more.
...I love that meme.


Is it a bad thing that the WiiU came out on Sunday and I didn't even notice? My separation from gaming retail is finally complete. There is a small part of me that wants to get one to play with because it is, for a few moments, new and shiny. The rest of me looks my ridiculous backlog and remembers that I want a Surface Pro next year and knows that I am not rich.

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