Friday, December 28, 2012

Couldn't stay away

I really did want to take a few days to a week off. Then I finished Lego Lord of the Rings last night and there are two things that I need to get off of my chest. Perhaps I reacted poorly to finding out that majority of my extremely limited traffic comes from a Russian porn site. I would explore the site further to figure out how but I am at work and wish to remain gainfully employed.

Plenty of time for that later.

Anyone who sits through all twelve plus hours of the Lord of the Rings extended editions and doesn't get a little misty at the end of The Return of the King needs to give up on fantasy and pick a different genre. I am not talking about Frodo getting on the boat and leaving with the elves along with Bilbo and Gandalf. While moving it was alluded to so many times that I just wanted them to be done with it. The part that always has me checking for witnesses comes before that:



Viggo sells the shit out of that line, then bows along with everyone else who is still alive. The Shire theme swells, the camera pulls back, and I am a goddamn wreck.

What does this have to do with Lego Lord of the Rings? The scene is recreated almost exactly and it has the exact same affect. This is not so much an endorsement of the game as it is on of the subject matter. Even referencing it in a different medium is enough to get me going. The stupid game reminded me that I do in fact have feelings. How dare it.

After that the player is dropped off in the white city and has the whole world to play in. This is when you are expected to backtrack through every single level and pick up all the bits of stuff that were not available before. I was ready to turn it off before I noticed a new trail of Legos that were used to lead you to the next objective. Nothing was on the map, but I followed them anyway. It took me on a walking tour of the over world, past all of the giant set pieces, past all of the entrances to levels, all the way back to Rivendell. It led right up to a painting that served as the entrance to the bonus level.

How nice, I thought, the didn't hide it.

Cue Lego Sauron and Lego Mouth of Sauron rampaging through a zoomed out version of the map destroying everything. It was inverse Katamari Damaci: not collecting items but flattening everything in your path. A fine send off to one of the better Lego license games.

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