Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Wrath!

Chamberlain's #1 rule on how not to end a game:

Do not, ever, ever, end a game with a series of quick time events. It is never the right idea. What an over the top cinematic, knock the player's socks off finale? Fine, find a way to do it in engine. Can't find a way to do it engine and don't want to rethink the ending because most of the assets are already created?

No sympathy. Fuck you.

Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time was not a very good game anyway, but capping it off with a bad quick time event repeated three times guarantees it place among other disappointments. There were a few  moments of interesting platforming interspersed between poorly designed, visually crowded hub worlds, but now all I can think about was how I had to hit X to not die. Again.

Quick time events are a plague. I would blame God of War, but that isn't going back far enough. You know whose fault it is?


Dragon's Lair was good. Then we collectively realized it was about as much fun as skipping through chapters on a DVD with an over sized remote and it wasn't good anymore.

Then we forgot what we learned and some of us, not me thankfully, bought Sewer Shark and Night Trap.


Night Trap was bad back before there was an internet full of free porn. It hasn't gotten any better. And this is how Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time ends: following button prompts. Just replace the poorly paid models with a scantily clad anthropomorphic fox.


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