Friday, April 26, 2013

Demo Friday: All in?

This one actually came out last Friday and I missed it. Finally got around to it on Monday and its fate was determined in near record time.

Check me out! I'm from like five other games!
God Mode. Ewwwwwwwww.

Okay, I will elaborate, but only because it is after 4:00 and I don't want to work anymore.

Arena based third person shooter plus watered down RPG elements plus really annoying announcer voice. You want more? The action is clunky, the default weapon does almost no damage, I was not able to find anyone to play online with so I was forced to suffer alone and the story was insipid: a game designer (that's you) dies and is sent to 'hell in a toga' to pay for his sins. How does he have to pay for his sins? By playing through areas based on his own bad games! It's justice, see! See how meta this is! See how hard the game is trying to be different from other, better, team based shooters!?

No. Just no. All this makes me want to do is play Painkiller again, and I can do that all by myself. Alone. For less money.

Glados never stops cheating. For science.
I bought Poker Night at the Inventory because it was cheap and I wanted to see Tycho interact with Strong Bad. It being a poker game was secondary. I, like most people, think I am better at poker that I really am, so it was nice to have a game play poorly on purpose for my enjoyment. Poker Night 2 is not as cheap, at least on XBLA, but there is more of everything. There are four new players, plus Glados as a dealer and a cameo by Moxxi from Borderlands at the bartender. Unlocks actually do something this time: using all three from the same character's game changes the whole theme and the home character's costume. There is actually a reason to grind games for coins.

The special prizes from each opponent are also back and getting them is much more straightforward. You are given three randomly chosen, usually reasonable goals that do not need to be achieved in the same game. Once those are done the next game is for a special prize. And if you lose? No problem, just play for it again in the next game. The entire process of unlocking goodies is much better and makes me want to play more instead of less. I may even figure out what this mysterious other kind of poker is.

Poker Night 2 was purchased sight unseen on XBLA because I crave achievements and that may have been a mistake. Not because it was twice as expensive but because it runs like ass. There are constant pauses in the action where the game is loading the next set of animations and dialogue. I really hope that it is just my Xbox or the hard drive dying because there is no reason for something with so little going on to run this poorly.

You heard me. I am complaining about the frame rate of a poker game. That means it is time to stop writing.

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