Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Hell's rabbit hole

It is difficult to get my head around how bad Ride to Hell is. There is not a single thing that it gets right which is actually an accomplishment for a game this late in a console's life cycle. It could have stolen art assets and game play from the hundreds of of other games that use the Unreal engine but no, Ride to Hell struck out on its own. Not surprisingly, everything is terrible.

It is also hilarious.

Most of the reviews I read stated the game did not make it all the way around the 'so bad it's good again' bend. I must disagree, as I laughed at the game the entire time I was playing. It started out when I was being 'taught' the bike controls.

'Press Y to powerslide' it states as I approach a semi. No problem, I do so. It looks like I make it under but then the screen greys out and I am back to the prompt. After two more tries the bike explodes for no reason. I figured out that I actually had to press Y before the prompt to get low enough and that there was no indication that I was actually not making it until I blew up.

Hilarious. Almost as funny as rescuing a hooker from an oversized John and then doing her, fully clothed, for free. Every woman the main character meets ends up sleeping with him. In attempt to keep the game from sliding past an M to an AO everyone keeps all of their clothes on. Remember hot coffee?

(erm, thought about linking to the video but decided against it...)

It's just like that but actually in the game proper. Someone did this on purpose. Ride to Hell did not spring forth fully formed from a programmers drunken nightmares. It was conceived, pitched, green lighted, produced, and then fucking sold on purpose.

This is easily one of the worst games of this generation. I will finish it.

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