Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The hardest way possible

One small example of how silly Ride to Hell is.

Jake rides up to a 'farm' where one of the bad guys is hiding. The farm is actually a huge drug storage complex because of course it is. It is surrounded by an electrified fence that is so electrified that there are constant lightning bolts pouring off of it. He get's a call from his uncle.

'Where are you?'

'I'm outside the farm but the fence is electrified.'

'What are you going to?'

'I have an idea.'

Riveting dialogue.

Jake then walks across the street and beats the shit out of three truckers whose only crime was having stopped their truck. He then steals the truck and does not run in through the fence like I assumed he would do. Instead Jake takes the truck on a road trip, running police cars off of the road the entire time. Finally he arrives at the local hydroelectric plant, crashes the truck through the main gate, murders everyone inside who are understandably trying to stop this maniac from completing his terrorist attack, and blows the truck up, destroying the dam.

Let me make sure I am clear: he drives a stolen truck a half hour away from his target, killing dozens of innocent people, to take out the power to an electric fence that he could have driven said truck through.

I think I love this game but that may be the Stockholm Syndrome talking.

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