Thursday, February 5, 2015

Score guarantees

I do not envy professional reviewers who were tasked with writing about Lego Batman 3, or any Lego game, for that matter. They are the very definition of review proof, in that the people that they are for don't read the reviews and the people who are buying them are doing so because they are safe to consume for all ages. Being paid to have an opinion and to give a game like this a number can't be much fun.

Far be it from me to say that the game is bad. It is certainly not. I am not playing the game ironically, I am playing it because I want to. It's just that the review process is as follows:

Lego Game?                                   Yes     No
Travelers Tales still involved?          Yes     No

Two Yes's equal 80% on the arbitrary quality scale. Move along.

This is also why I am not paid for my opinions. Yet.

Compared to its peers Lego Batman 3 feels more linear. The hub worlds are more cleverly disguised and there is no singular over world map like there was in Lego Marvel. I play these games for the sites and laughs and then walk away so the smaller world does not bother me. Obsessive middle school kids who must find every brick may find it a bit small for their taste. Fear not, there is plenty of downloadable content to pester the credit card wielders for.

Special mention must be made to the music. Someone is the production chain of command knew whose palm to grease because they were able to use this:


That's a damn fine theme. Once. Lego Batman 3 uses it all the damn time, cut into pieces, over and over. I never thought I could grow tired of Danny Elfman but I never want to hear it again and I know it will pop up at least a dozen more times. Tonight.

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