Saturday, April 11, 2015

90 minutes I can never have back

8:07

Here we go. Adjust the slider until the man is visible and the beast is invisible. Subtle.

8:12

Damn that's an in depth character creator. And some hefty load times.

8:21 - Death 1

No weapons, no guidance, killed by villager wielding an axe and a torch. Oh wait, it looks like this is scripted. Just prepping me for what is to come, I suppose.

8:32

Some back story or explanation would be nice. And was I supposed to fight that werewolf? I just walked around him and left because he couldn't fit through the door.

8:40

I am getting a tutorial/hand holding sessions. Can't complain about that.

8:41

Went back to the hunter's dream to purchase equipment. When I returned enemies that I killed are all back. Padding game length with repetition, eh?

8:58 - Death 2

Giant bastard who I was trying to avoid. He went from loud and lumbering to sneaky and with a posse to back him up. If I have to kill everyone again I will not be happy.

9:00

Seriously? Twenty minutes of work all wasted. All the enemies that I killed are back. That is the problem here. Not enemy difficulty. This game has no respect for the player's time.

9:04 - Death 3

Same kind of guy as the first time who I fought because I didn't want to do the exact same thing as last time for no gain. Guess what? Not ready for him. My only option is do wade through the same twenty minutes of game as before and hope that it goes better,

I hate this.

9:25  - Death 4

Fuck this game. Fuck it. 20 minutes of progress lost. Hell, I have been playing for over an hour and have barely seen more than ten minutes of game because it cannot be assed to give me a checkpoint. Yes, I could have fled at the sight of the two werewolves and spent my experience on equipment but that would mean doing everything over again. Instead I tried to push on and was killed for the effort.

Yes, I suppose that after enough tries I would get past the werewolves but that just means that I would get fucked by the next encounter. It's not fucking worth it. It really isn't. No game is good enough to warrant this kind of abuse.

9:31 - Death 5

This is not fun. It is not interesting. It is not compelling. It is slightly above dental work.

Slightly.

9:35 - Death 6

Boredom leads to frustration. Frustration leads to taking chances. Taking chances leads to dying to Innsmouth refugees wielding pitch forks which leads me to uninstalling the god damn game. I will never play anything by From Software again. Ever. Fuck them for unleashing this critic proof tripe that makes me look like ass for not climaxing at the very mention of its name.

Oohhhh, it's hard, you have to work for it. Fuck that. This is supposed to be fun, not akin to doing taxes or getting my colon checked. Or getting my colon checked by my taxes. God damn, am I pissed off right now.

1 comment:

  1. Kayla's trying to sleep and I just laughed my ass off - almost woke her up!

    It's an RPG. Level up. And upgrade your weapon. And LTDodge. And kill the Cleric beast.

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