Wednesday, May 18, 2016

One out of many

Rage quitting is, apparently, still a thing that happens in Street Fighter V. Capcom has taken a few steps to dissuade it, like banning a person from ranked for a short amount of time when they disconnect from too many matches, but that doesn't seem to have done much. The person who disconnects should have to hold that L and lose twice the requisite points and the victim of said pansy should get twice the points.

A story...

Last night was not a good night for Chamberlain in SFV. I lost everything for about two hours. Everything. I lost to gold ranked players and to bronze players alike. It did not matter. Every button I pressed was either the wrong one or at the wrong time. SFV is just about the saltiest game there is. It can go poorly so fast that all one can do is get pissed and try again.

Try again I did. Over and over. Then Mr. Gold Ranked Bison showed up.

He crushed me in the first game and was benevolent enough to grant me the run back. While it was loading I remembered: Bison has no wake up game. Knock him down and sit on his goddamned face. There was a moment of zen... and I still lost the first round.

Fuck zen, I'm going in.

When a round goes Necalli's way it is ugly for the other player. Two combos, even without meter, equals dizzy and three quarters health gone. I had one of those rounds. An evening worth of poor play evaporated and I sat on his goddamned face. He panicked.

Round three goes down to the wire. A lot of bouncing back and forth, a lot of whiffed normals, a lot of sloppy play on both parts. I sneak in the jankiest jumping medium kick that has ever been thrown for the last hit and POOF he disconnected.

I like to think that he threw his arcade stick at his PS4, crushing it, or that he ripped his PC's power cord from the wall in a rage, blowing several breakers in his house. Whoever you are, wherever you are, I won that match, mother fucker. Suck it.

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