Friday, June 17, 2016

I have a strong tolerance

I cannot believe that I slipped into Cartman without saying 'cheesy poofs' or 'Mom, kitties being a dildo.' Oh well, I will wait for the next South Park game to pull out an impression that I have had on the back burner for almost twenty years. There is only one other and I cannot be sober to do it.


The last game I played, Lichdom Battlemage, was a bad port of a bad game, 'achieved' with CryEngine. This is not the first console game using that engine to perform poorly, nor will it be he last. Two days ago I started Homefront: Rebellion, another console title using CryEngine that, you guessed it, has performance issues. It is nowhere as bad as Lichdom but there is a several second pause everything time the game saves data. Exiting a menu, finishing a job, hitting a checkpoint in the middle of a boss fight, it doesn't matter. The game stops, thinks about the torture of its existence, then lets you play again.

This was solved with Halo. The first one. Two fucking generations ago.

The game itself is not as terrible as you have been led to believe. Instead of a linear shooter like the first game Revolution is an open(ish) world shooter. It is has Ubi-game elements, namely tons of inane shit to collect or blow up in each area, but it lets the player know when there is no reason to collect any more of a given item. For example, each area has a 'hearts and minds' meter that the player needs to raise to 100%.

You can laugh at that if you want. I did.

There are many different ways to raise this percentage, so many that it is quite possible to get to 100% without emptying a map. Only the first five or ten of each activity count towards the percentage and the game tells you this. It saves obsessive compulsive people from themselves by saying 'Yes, you found 10 radios. There are more but you don't need to get them. You can if you want to, but there is no in game benefit, not even an achievement.'

All games should do this. It saves so much time.

Action is intense because the player character is incredibly fragile and there is no health regen. You can carry a limited number of health packs that bring you back to full but once they are gone you either retreat to find more or press on and risk death. Hiding in cover waiting to heal bullet holes has been so ingrained by other modern shooters that I am still doing it, three days into a game in which this behavior does nothing more than give the enemy time to flank you.

Or it would if the game's enemies had any sense. The infamous AI of the first Far Cry does not apparently come bundled with CryEngine.

Not a great game but not a dumpster fire, Revolution at least does not offend in the same way Lichdom did. This has been your back handed compliment of the day.

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