Friday, June 3, 2016

It just gets worse from here

Lichdom Battlemage is a master class in terribleness. There is much more wrong with it than the well documented performance issues. Not that I am going to let a frame rate up under 15 per second, often lower, slide, but there are much more interesting and tragic things to talk about. Even if the game ran at an acceptable, playable frame rate it would still not be very good.

I am here for you, so that you do not need to endure these headaches. I mean that literally.

First, the issue unique to my platform of choice: the game is way too dark and there is no way to adjust it. Environments are dark but you can at least see where you are going. Enemies, on the other hand, all look like shadows wielding etheriel crossbows or swords. Some of of them have more glowy bits than others but they are indistinguishable beyond that.

There also only three types, as far as I can tell. Guys who run at you, guys who fly, and guys fire things at you from a distance. Those guys are the worst, especially when they fire arrows that freeze you while the guys who run at you are, well, running at you.

The player has magic, lots of it if the menus are to be believed, but I have found maybe one or two combinations that actually work in combat. The first time I locked several guys to the ground and immolated them with fire from the heavens I felt as good as I good watching a slideshow of my efforts. By hundredth time the novelty had worn off.

Hundredth is not an exaggeration: levels are much, much longer than they need to be and they look the same all the way through. Remember Turok on the N64? Like that, only slightly better looking. Slightly.

Most damning of all is an inventory/upgrade system that the game itself deems so terrible that it never explains how to use it, opting instead to dump the player into an auto-upgrade screen. Not that it matter that much because attacks for each element look the same after being upgraded, they just do a little more damage. Maybe.

Oh, and the story is told through grainy flashbacks and is stupid. This may be one of the worst games of this generation. I will not be beaten by it.

No comments:

Post a Comment