Monday, August 22, 2016

Think of me as William Wallace


After twenty hours of Star Ocean not finishing it was no longer an option. I didn't like the combat, it was a tactile and visual mess. I didn't like the characters, they were all cardboard cutout stock toons, boring even by JRPG standards. I did not like the villain, an evil general that appears around the game's midpoint whose entire motivation is 'MWA HA HA I AM EVIL.'

But I could not bear to have 'wasted' those twenty hours so I soldiered on, having figured out that the only road to success was thoughtless offense backed by ground out hit points. Attrition is never fun, even when said attrition means I win.

It's done now and I have already forgotten everyone's names. On purpose. I have purged them from my age addled memory banks to make space for more important things like remembering to put on pants in the morning. Star Ocean 5 is to be struck from the JRPG lexicon, never to be referenced in pointless nerd arguments or even discussions on what not to do.


I am not sure why I put off starting the Batman Telltale series. It's got Batman, and I like that, and it is Telltale, and I like most of what they have done. It may have been the performance complaints that put me off and yes, they were all legitimate. While it does take cues for The Walking Dead: Michonne it still has the look of a game more comfortable on my tired Android tablet than a big boy console. Frame rate dips, low resolution, bad facial motion capture, it's all still there.

But the story and the characters kick all sorts of ass and I cannot tell you why. To spoil anything from the first episode would be a crime. All I will say is that it is not a Batman story that I have ever seen before and that it make the Alfred character more interesting, by way of an excellent cliffhanger, than he has ever been before.

The best parts of the game have nothing to do with Batman, It's just Bruce Wayne navigating parties and press conferences, fighting the urge to break everyone's elbows because that would be so much easier than smiling and nodding like the billionaire playboy he is supposed to be. I was on the edge of my seat for all of the first episode. The next one better show up soon.


Podcast? Who would do such a thing.

Chamberlain and Chance - Everyone hates Konami

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