Tuesday, September 27, 2016


I apologize for not making good on my promise of a chronological recording of my reactions to No Man's Sky. Had I done so it would have gone something like this:

(Beer 1)

Hmm. This is kinda boring. I should at least try warping once.

(Beer 2)

CHAncE. Can I pulleese stop playing thish? Hey listen this cool song. ZZZzzzZzZzz..

Or something close to that anyway.

No Man's Sky was boring. It was shopping for groceries in an unfamiliar store: you know what you want but you don't know where it is and are therefore annoyed to your very bones. Every planet boiled down to scavenging for the materials required to warp to the next one. It did not matter that I was supposedly the first person to see the planets (which I was not, after the first two every planet already had someone else's name on it) because there was nothing to do there.

As I said about Jotun, exploration is not always its own reward. Yes, I can wander the hills or caves of a hostile planet whose every inhabitant tries to kill me (this is a thing that happened) but what fun is it when the whole purpose is just to collect one hundred of the same mineral so I can warp to the next planet and do the whole thing again?

A game with billions of procedurally generated planets had shown me all it had to offer in just under two hours. I did return to it for a second night to make sure that sober Chamberlain had the same opinion as not sober Chamberlain and he did, he just didn't send emails filled with poor grammar and misspelled words begging to be allowed to quit. He just turned it off.


I have managed to sink tiny amounts of time into several games since then, looking for something, good or bad, that I don't mind playing. After Carmageddon was Assetto Corsa, a racing game so on the sim side of things that I couldn't make it past the first race. I am sure there is a market for this kind of game but it is not me. I will never drive a real car that fast on that curvey of a road.

Next was Earthlock, the free RPG from September's Games with Gold. I didn't hear much about it and now I know why: it sucks. No voice acting, plain environments, simply yet overly difficult combat that assumes you are going to grind for levels from the start, it was a catalogue of RPG tropes that better games left behind years ago. My endurance for terrible games must be waning as I shut this one off after two days as well.

What is wrong with me.

Now, the real dilemma: Forza Horizon 3 comes out today, a game that I know I will enjoy, but I do not exactly have the cash for it, the discretionary having been drained by a PS4Pro pre-order and 50 feet of speaker cable (when I really needed 60, a story for another day).

I am left with Sword Coast Legends, a game I bought months ago and then forgot about. It is not great but what else am I going to do with my time,


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