Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Almost done complaining

This is the last I am going to complain about The Last Guardian. Until we record this week's episode of the podcast.

I finished the game last night. I finished it and realized that at no point was I enjoying myself. There were grand vistas and pretty good music and occasionally very picturesque scenes. The trico was, I will admit, animated very well, usually. But at no point could I take any of this in as I was constantly fighting the camera or fighting the controls or fighting the damn trico. The game did not let me enjoy it.

On a more personally offensive note, it was impossible to play the game in an efficient manner. I enjoy Ubisoft games because they are kind enough to put collectibles on the map. There is a ton to do but I can decide what order to do it in and what I want to skip - I can play it efficiently. In The Last Guardian figuring out the solution of a puzzle is not the final step. If the solution involves the trico, and they usually do, just as much if not more time is spent marshalling the damn thing's half assed AI into whatever it needs to do as was spent thinking about the solution.

I don't care what anyone says, the trico does not listen. Every interaction I had with it was a chore. The only relationship I developed with it was wanting to put my foot in its ass. Consequently all of the emotional beets ring hollow. I did not care about the thing and what happened to it or what sacrifices it made, it was just another obstacle to overcome.

The Last Guardian was butts. Ico really was lightning in a bottle, never to be captured again.

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