Tuesday, January 17, 2017

I got better

I am sitting here, alone, in my office, with nothing to do, thinking about how I could pass the time if I had my Switch. There are at least two other, cheaper alternatives that I could have right now: a Vita or a 3DS, but I don't want those and their sizable libraries. I want the new, flawed hotness that I could plug into my monitor (if I spent $90 on a second dock).

This is a problem. I have lost all perspective on this machine which leaves me unable to bitch about the things that need to be bitched about. Am...

am in I love?

With Nintendo?

This can't be. I am a bitter old man, one who relishes in hating things that everyone else likes. The Switch has very real problems beyond its anemic launch and overpriced peripherals. For starters it is far and away less powerful than either the Xbox One S or the PS4 Pro, to say nothing of Microsoft's monster machine that is supposed to come out later this year. This all but guarantees a total lack of third party support, at least as far as translating AAA games goes.

But that is not why I want one. I don't want to play Call of Duty: The Next One but in Space or Battlefield: Muddy Trench Simulator on a Switch, I want to play the games that I have not played since the god forsaken Wii came out. I have a 4K television for those other, bigger titles.

I hated the Wii. Loathed it. Its very existence made me angry, both because motion control is stupid (it's still stupid)  and because I did not want to share what I did for fun with dementia riddled retirees whose only understand of gaming was Wii Bowling. This was not a healthy attitude and, surprise, a battle that I and other basement dwelling, old school nerds lost. Video games are for everyone now, and that is a good thing.

To be fair, I was still running an EB Games/Gamestop when the Wii came out and was a much angrier human being. My heart has grown a few sizes since then and is ready to give Nintendo another chance.

Don't burn me, big N.

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