Monday, November 27, 2017

It was a long weekend

Catch up time! It was a long weekend and I played a little bit of a lot of things, but first, in case you come here but do not go to Chance's blog, the podcast!


Chamberlain and Chance - 2017 Hype list recap

Issue #1: Wolfenstein 2 ended very abruptly. I was hoping for a big, bad boss fight, something close to the cyber demon from Doom. Instead I got a big fight against two enemies that I hadn't seen before but it did not feel like the whiz bang finale. It was just another tough fight in a series of tough fights. The end credits caught me totally by surprise.

No spoilers, but this is very much the middle episode. Nothing is resolved, things happen for dubious reasons, and then it 'ends' on an advertisement for the next game. I hope it sold well enough for the third game to be made.

Issue #2: White Night is not a good game. It looks like a polished up PS2 game. Normally this would not be a problem as I play JRPGs and JRPGs not named Final Fantasy stopped evolving graphically about a decade ago. It also plays like a mid to late era PS2 game: fussy, inaccurate controls, archaic puzzles, boring, repetitive environments. I could tolerate of that, but not all of it.

Worst of all there is an insane janitor roaming the halls who beats children to death with a bat if he finds them in the school after hours. Think Clock Tower's scissorman but less menacing, more a sad commentary on what a boring ass job will do to a man's state of mind. I found the solution to a puzzle on the opposite side of the building and had to walk back. Running is no good, he will hear the noise every time. Walking is no good, as it takes so long that his patrol route will always intersect your path. And once he sees you there is pretty much no escape. I hid in a bathroom stall for what seemed like forever, more annoyed than scared, and he just waited for me to stick my head out before bashing it in.

No thanks, moving on.

Issue #3: Raiden V is a good shmup but the very fast scrolling made my head hurt and I could only play it through once. I am old.

Issue #4: Nights of Azure 2 may also be a bad game. The combat is both mashy and unresponsive. The camera is never where it needs to be. At its core it plays just like the first game: short missions into infested areas with servans as support. It adds a second human character to the party that is more powerful than the servans, which is good, but because the game is all about pandering you are expected to develop a relationship with said human characters.

The cheesecake here is intensely cringey. It's more than just egregious breast size and physics. There are double entendres and sideways glances everywhere. For example, the hero of the story (whose name I cannot remember at the moment) is 'killed' at the end of the tutorial, only to be resurrected with the blood of the hero of the last game. This makes the new hero a half fiend and grants her super powers. Several time she and her partner have come across a gap that is too large to cross so the hero scoops up other woman in her arms, hold her tight to he chest, and leaps across.

It's still not done.

Thought bubble from the support character: 'I've never been held this way by a woman before.'

I have no idea what my plans are for this game, other than to make sure no one sees me playing it.

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