Tuesday, December 19, 2017

The Force Awakens second viewing

It's still a bad movie.

Finn goes from terrified, incompetent storm trooper who refuses to kill to ace tie fighter gunner who kills dozens (in spite of never having done that before) to terrified, whiny bastard who runs away only to run back when the thing he is running away from actually shows up to being able to use a light saber (in spite of never having done that before) well enough to hold his own, for a while, against whiny, emo-vader. He is comic relief in a movie that already had it, albeit clumsily, with other characters, and his existence is entirely superfluous. Truly, he is the Jar Jar of the new trilogy.

Rey goes from scavenger to competent pilot of the Millennium Falcon (in spite of never having done that before) to running away from scary force dreams to fending off mind intrusions from whiny, emo-vader and then mind controlling a moonlighting Daniel Craig before defeating whiny, emo-vader in a light saber dual (in spite of ever having done any of that before). She had no force training, no mentor, and literally used the force to win the fight only after whiny, emo-vader mentioned the force to her and she thought 'oh yeah, that thing that I didn't know was real until a few days ago, I'll use that no problem.' She is not as bad as Finn but she is still a terrible character.

Kylo Ren at least had a master and was convincing as a barely in control, incredibly powerful neophyte who did not know what to do with all of the evil inside. He does not make a good villain as he is about as intimidating as the lead singer from The Cure but lop off a few limbs and he may get there yet.

Han Solo dies and Harrison Ford gets to say 'Fuck all of you, I got paid.'

Poe Dameron is cool. It's still a bad movie.

I will probably hate The Last Jedi, too, whenever I get around to seeing it. Rogue One was so much better.

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