Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Back in the saddle

The towers in Mortal Kombat 11 are just as bad as you have heard, possibly worse. I do not care much for unlockable cosmetics, so avoiding them would not be a problem if it were not for the brutalities hidden in the krypt. Brutalities are far and away superior to fatalities. They are sudden, short and (most importantly) infuriating to the opponent. Brutalities have specific requirements, like ending a match with a particular move at a certain amount of health, so they take planning.

They are exceptional for trolling. And let's be honest, MK and trolling the opponent go hand in hand. Why else would 'quitalities' be a thing? I threw so many fans at someone a few nights ago that he quick mid-match.

So yes, I am playing online again, but only in casual matches. If you see me online just remember that the normal fan can just be ducked, you do not need to hold block. Blocking the fans is just giving away chip damage. Duck the mid fans, block the low fans, and get close to me, then you will probably win. But good luck with that, I have a lot of fans.

Back to the towers -  I need coins to unlock chests in the krypt to, just maybe, open a chest with a brutality in it. So far I have found one for Kitana. It required a move that I do not use in my build, so it was worthless. The hunt continues. At least a whole pile of apology coins should drop tonight.

Friday, April 12, 2019

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Who am I again?

I have things to say about how The Walking Dead ended. Some nice, some not so nice, but they are reserved for the podcast. Tune in tomorrow for dead hot takes.


Kingdom Hearts III is kind enough to include a six part primer on the events that led up to it. I watched all six parts before starting the game and understood less than when I started, in fact I think that trying to comprehend the Sisyphean morass that is the over arching Kingdom Hearts 'plot' has forced other more important information out of my brain. Things like where I live and how to breath.

It's like anime watched more anime and decided it could out anime the anime.

If nothing else the game does outrageous spectacle well and often. Fights against standard heartless enemies can culminate in Sora, Goofy and Donald jumping into over sized tea cups and crushing their enemies before them. It may get old eventually but at only two hours in I still find it at least amusing. 

Friday, April 5, 2019

Filling the space

Good morning internet.

I feel that I should apologize, not to anyone in particular, as this blog has never been for anyone other than myself, but to this space in general. It was supposed to be a daily exercise, an outlet after the review gigs dried up. This was many years ago, and while it never really was 'daily' it was certainly more often than it has been as of late. Excuses are many, actual reasons beyond not being in the mood are few, so this is something that I intent to remedy.

Mood is relative, right? I should be the master of my mood, not the other way around.

As chronicled in the podcast, my gaming space has been in pieces for the last two weeks. The carpet was gross and the suspended ceiling was a mess, thanks to a water issue from the floor above, so it was it time to bite the bullet and pay people far more skilled than myself to make it livable again. They have done so. All that is left is the painting, which I am doing myself, and I have severely underestimated the task.

It's not that I have never painted before. I painted every god damn wall in my last house at least once. This is different enough to make it arduous: grey paint going over yellow on walls with no texture. The paint will just slide off when the roller gets dry, but you can't see these spots until the paint itself has cured.

Translation: I have to do the whole thing twice and I haven't even started with the edging yet.

But this is not This Old Hours and I am not Norm Abrams (REFERENCES, HA!). I have managed to play a few things with my television transplanted into a different room. Darksiders III was bad and I shudder to think what they will do with a forth game. It is a shadow of the first two tainted by the current souls-like hotness, just done poorly. Frankly, I am amazed that I made it through to the end.

Call of Cthulhu was also bad, but no one should be surprised by this. I knew it was going to be rough when they mispronounced Cthulhu. CUH - TOO - LOO, seriously? It was a walking simulator with very little to do or say with a final five minute out of nowhere visual spectacle that almost made the previous three evenings of work worth it. Almost.

Trust me, don't play this one, either, just look up the endings on YouTube. Here:

I did not get the first ending. My Pierce was far too crazy by that time to do anything other than kill himself, finish the ritual, or finish the counter ritual. Pay no attention to the janky animations and just look at the clouds in the background. Not bad. Not worth the rest of the game, but not bad.