Friday, June 23, 2017

Voice opinions

It took several days but I have figured out exactly why Ryder is such an insufferable douche bag. It's not just the writing, which is bad, or his mannequin like face, which is also bad. The real culprit is his voice. Tom Taylorson, a name I know only because I just looked it up and whose credits include Mortal Kombat: Armageddon and Octodad, is doing a very poor Nathan Drake impersonation. Everything he says is laced with unfitting glibness. He is a fucking pathfinder, tasked with finding planets to be colonized, perhaps he should treat the office with the respect it deserves.

Maybe it's not his fault. Perhaps in the cluster fuck that was this game's development cycle the direction he received was to 'sound like Nolan North, but not too much like Nolan North' before being left in a poorly ventilated recording booth with a script written on bourbon stained cocktail napkins.

I should have played female Ryder. She is voiced by Fryda Wolff, a woman with more than a few games' worth of practice and who looks like a puck Sandra Bullock.

...punk Sandra Bullock. I may be in love.

...

Holy shit! She was the voice of Mira in Killer Instinct! And she dressed the part!


*swoon*

Thursday, June 22, 2017

It hurts so good

Darkest Dungeon sounds like a good idea until I remember that I did try to play it a few times and then I get dizzy and need to lay down.


Chamberlain and Chance - Bountiful flagellants

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

One innovation

Since I have admitted that I am enjoying Mass Effect Andromeda I might as well say something nice about. Something specific. Let me think about that for a bit.

...time passes...

There are a lot of side quests in Andromeda. Some of them good, many of them boring and not all of them can be completed at any given time. Instead of forcing the player to guess which quests can either be completed or advanced the list labels some quests as 'on hold,' meaning that there is nothing to do with them at the moment. I assume that they will open up as the main plot progresses.

This is genius and I hope everyone steals it. Overfull quest lists can be intimidating. Letting the player know what can and can't be done at the moment keeps it more manageable and, more importantly, respects the player's time. There is nothing wrong with a game helping the player play efficiently.

Not breaking its own rules *cough*Nier Automata*cough* or being needlessly difficult *cough*From Software*cough*.

...

I think that the podcast needs a wager. If I lose then I will put serious time into the next Dark Souls or Bloodborne game. If I win Chance has to go back and play Amnesia: The Dark Descent. I just need to come up with an appropriate bet,

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Ok, I admit it

I like Mass Effect Andromeda.

I do not like many of the characters but I like the game.

Happy now? I certainly feel better.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Making excuses

Andromeda is not good. It's not. All animations are laughable. Voice acting is spotty at best with male Ryder being a unconfident douchebag. He's such a loser that I am going to make good on my threat of not attempting any of the romance options. Ryder gets none.

The menus are bad, the load times are bad, the lion's share of planets have nothing on them. But it is all I played over the weekend. I 100% the first two planets and have stopped the main plot dead to 100% the next one. The actual act of playing, bringing up the map and choosing a quest, driving there and then killing whatever is in the way, is still fun. In fact it may be the most fun a Mass Effect game has ever been. The shooting is a little fidgety but failure has consequence. No cover plus a dozen bad guys equals death.

It really is a shame. Mass Effect Andromeda has good bones. Aside from the shit menus everything works the way it is supposed to. Everything on top of that, everything that assholes like me who buy expensive mid-generation console updates care about, is bad.

I feel like I need to make excuses for planing on finishing it.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Mass contradictions

Mass Effect Andromeda is offensive. All animations, not just facial animations, are at least a generation old, put to shame by modern budget titles. The menu and crafting systems are terrible as it is near impossible to see how much better or worse an item is than what you already have equipped. Buying an items does not allow you to actually equip said item as that can only be done at specific locations. Yes, this means that when you stumble across a weapon in the field you can't actually use it until you find a forward post.

Characters are one note caricatures. The pathfinder himself is boring and his dialogue choices are very similar and often have nothing to do with what he actually says. If this game came out before the first Mass Effect then maybe, maybe it would be acceptable.

But I played it for more than three hours yesterday and the day before. I will play it tonight and I will play it every night until it is done. Because it is fun. Somehow, in spite of all its ugliness and poor design choices, it is fun. Exploring a solar system via a menu is fun (somehow). Exploring the one or two planets in each system is fun (somehow). The combat is not fun, it is serviceable, but at least it doesn't kick me in the nuts like Nier Automata did.

It's, I don't know, romantic. You are 650 years from home, everyone you knew is dead and you have to survive. Everything that could go wrong has and yet the desire to explore is still there. Strip out the annoying characters and this is what No Man's Sky should have been. You know, interesting.